My new job.

I started my new job two weeks ago. My first night alone I ended up being $17 short somehow. Not a huge deal, but I have this weird need to the best at my job and I was beating myself up over it. The whole perfectionist thing is only job-related, oddly. I’m not nearly as much of an anal neat-freak at home (if you saw my desk right now you’d agree, there’s lipgloss everyyywwheeerree) so I have no idea why at work I’m like “EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT!” It has gotten better since then, thankfully. I still get insanely stressed out at the end of the night. I have a lot of stuff to do and most of it has to be done within the last hour and I just get all crazy and frenzied then. It doesn’t help that most of my coworkers don’t give a shit about their job and have a tendency to screw up or leave shit everywhere and it makes my job harder.

There are two perks about my job, though. One is I get to wear my own clothes (sadly I have to return most of the clothes I ordered from Old Navy, apparently the size I usually wear is meant for six foot tall 500 pound women in Old Navy land). The second is that if there’s an open channel I can put on whatever I want and put it on the TV in the office and watch it while I do my work. Golden Girls reruns ftw!

So, I recently decided I have to do something about my weight or I am going to get diabetes and have my feet chopped off and die. I started counting calories almost a month ago and I have lost 13 pounds. I AM PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT THAT. I still need to watch my sugar, but I think the counting calories thing is a good start. I’ve tried it before and only made it two weeks before I went back to my compulsive over-eating and binge eating habits, so almost a month is amazing to me so far. I give myself one day a week to “cheat” and not count, but even then I still don’t go totally crazy. I went to the buffet with my bff this morning and I feel like I ate a lot less than I normally would have. It helps that my new job has me running around a lot now (okay, by running I mean a lot more standing/walking/rushing around trying to get shit done) and it is helping burn calories.

I got up super early this morning to run an errand and now I am reallllllly tired. Time to go lotion up (my skin is super dry lately, ugh) and take my vitamins and SLEEP.

PROMOTED!

SO! I had my interview with the big boss today. It was almost a complete disaster. I left work early to go to the interview and on the way there my dad’s car blew a tire. Long story short, I ended up being half an hour late. I called my boss as soon as it happened so he could call the guy I was supposed to interview with to let him know. I apologized a million times as soon as I got there. I absolutely hate being late to anything, and being late for an interview where I hoped I would get a promotion… ugh, the worst.

ANYWAY. The interview went well and as soon as I was on my way out my boss told me I had the job. I GOT A PROMOTION, BITCHES! I started shopping for clothes as soon as I got home, haha. I actually didn’t think I’d buy anything tonight, just shop around a little, but Old Navy and Lane Bryant were having really great sales. I’m really hoping I can get away with wearing dark wash jeans (the Internet says that’s okay for business casual as long as they’re flattering, not ripped/distressed and paired with something appropriate on top, not a t-shirt or anything) because I have a hard time finding dress pants I like in my size (that are cheap too). I think a tank top/cardigan/cute flats combo will be fine. Um… is it sad that I am most excited about not having to wear a uniform anymore?

I wore heels to the interview, what a bad idea. They weren’t even really high heels, I think they’re like 2 inches. Like kitten heels only not as low. Anyway, I am not a heel person and they KILLED my feet. I have blisters. 🙁 I always do that, wear heels and then regret it, yet I never seem to learn my lesson.

BUT YAY ME! Promotions are always nice. No more uniform and a very sad pay raise and a REALLY COOL TITLE. I am now a superwriter instead of a regular old writer. No cape though. 🙁

Fun fact: My cats do not like when I sing to them. Haters.

Maybe next year.

I haven’t 100% decided to go back to school yet (choosing what I want to study would make this much easier but I’m not quite there yet) but I decided to make it way easier for myself if I do go back in the future.

I got my associate degree in 2009. I wasn’t crazy about what I was studying (degree is in IT and I got a certificate of achievement in medical transcription, talk about regrets with that last one) so I just stopped giving a fuck. My GPA is embarrassingly low as a result. I called the UNLV transfer admissions office and asked what the best thing for me to do would be. I have a couple of options. One is to take classes part-time next semester and get a decent GPA. The second is to take enough classes and get good enough grades to raise my GPA. With a little help from a GPA calculator, I can satisfy both of those requirements by taking 2 classes next semester, assuming I get A’s in both. Work has a tuition reimbursement program that would allow me to take 2 classes. So keep your fingers crossed that my boss/his boss approve my request to take Gaming 210: Casino Customer Service, and Gaming 208: Casino Business Strategies. Neither seem particularly thrilling but the classes have to be work related, and if this means I don’t have to pay for the classes myself to boost my GPA… I am so for it. Classes don’t start until August so I have awhile to go, but I feel good that I’m setting myself up for the future (and having work pay for it, ha!)

Still no word on the promotion. It’s been over three weeks now since I applied for it. I guess it’s no big deal if I don’t get it, my co-worker is retiring in July which means his shift will be available, and his shift is pretty sweet. All day shifts with Thursday and Friday off. Way better than my “I have no idea what shift I’ll be working every week, could be day shift or mid shift or closing! IT’S ALWAYS A SURPRISE!” shift with Tuesday and Wednesday off.

I had a four day weekend last week AND this week. I had four vacation days I had to take before June 9th. Last week I spent Sunday and Monday at my sister’s. We did our usual shopping and watching Netflix. This week I just stayed home, I mostly took it off because my mom is out of town and my parents were all worried about who was going to watch the dogs while my dad was at work, etc. I figured since I had some vacation days to use and I had nothing better to do, I’d make it easier on them and stay home with the dogs. Thankfully they’ve been mostly good.

Yeah. I’m boring.

Making decisions makes me feel like this: >:O

Remember when I said there was no way I was going to apply for the job and fuck everything rage punch kick die blargh? Okay, maybe it wasn’t that extreme, but that’s sort of how it seemed in my head. My boss (my new boss, who is actually my old boss. Yeah, that’s what it’s like working for this particular company, it’s basically just a revolving door of managers) sat me down and talked to me about it and convinced me to apply for it by promising me I could have the days off that I wanted (Wednesdays because those are my Broadway show days, and Broadway shows > my job). I’ve pretty much talked myself into doing it because despite how the pay is so not worth it, I think it will be worth it to have that little boost on my resume. Plus I can wear my own clothes. GOODBYE UGLY POLO SHIRTS! I just tell myself that I don’t have to do this forever.

I think you should all stop what you’re doing and say thank you to the deity of your choice that you are not me. I was actually doing okay for the last few months, I wasn’t feeling all crazy like I usually do. I know that applying for a promotion is not a huge deal and most people would easily make the decision to do it or not, but it’s different for me. I go over the different decisions in my head a million times, dwell on each one for ages, and then freak out because I’m afraid no matter which decision I make, it will be the wrong one. Same with the condo thing. Now I’m doing the same thing trying to decide whether or not I should go back to school. I mean, I think I should, I know I should, but trying to pick a major? Forget it. DECISION MAKING PROCESS SHUTS DOWN COMPLETELY. I keep waiting for some kind of sign that will magically tell me what I should do, but of course that doesn’t happen.

HI. I AM KRISTIN. I AM A NUTCASE.

Anyway, let’s change the subject. I am really into headbands lately. My hair is super long, like past my bra strap long, and it’s pretty and soft but it’s getting hot here in Vegas and it is slowly driving me crazy. It gets really hot at work sometimes and my hair seems like it’s everywhere and my neck is hot and it’s in my face and I just want to chop it off. Headbands help to keep it off my face, and they have the added bonus of making me look 11 years old. I’m not sure how that is a bonus, but I’m sure it is to some pervert in the sports book. I already look pretty young, thanks to years of not going in the sun (no wrinkles yet, yay!) and my extreme fatness, but the headband just adds that touch that screams “I AM A YOUNG AND INNOCENT SCHOOLGIRL”.

My nemesis brought me saltwater taffy all the way from New Jersey. I get my own box because 1) I am super fat and he knows it, and 2) he loves me even if he won’t admit it. Yes, our relationship is strange, I know. I’ve given up trying to understand it. I should just accept that we are going to drive each other nuts.

IT IS HOT. IT IS MAKING ME CRANKY.

ALL TEH MUSICALZ!!!!1

Guess who has season tickets for next season’s Broadway Series at the Smith Center? ME ME ME ME ME. I told my sister not to get them because I was hoping to get a promotion and if I did my schedule would change, but she got them anyway. And then I realized that I didn’t want the promotion so everything sort of worked out.

You’re probably like “WHO WOULDN’T TAKE A PROMOTION, ARE YOU CRAZY?!” but I made a list of pros and cons and there was only one pro. Yeah. The one pro was “could open up other opportunities in the future” and I really considered applying for it just for that but then remembered that I don’t want to work in a sports book for the rest of my life. I mean, I could apply for it and just do it in the meantime until I figure out what the hell I’m doing, but it’s just so not worth it. There would be a raise, of course, but the amount of money compared to the amount of work/stress was just not worth it in the end. I really want to be making more money and I will never make the amount of money I want working in a sports book. Not that I’m looking to make a fortune, just enough to move out, buy a car, and have enough leftover that I don’t have to be stressed about money every month. It’s just me and the cats and I don’t have any crazy habits that cost me a ton of money so I think I would be okay. Keep your fingers crossed for me, okay?

New job means no more condo! Prices have gone up and I could barely afford one to begin with. I am little sad about it but it’s my own fault, pretty much. I let my anxiety get the best of me. NOTHING NEW THERE.

I started watching Hemlock Grove on Netflix last night. It is totally bizarre but I like it so far. It doesn’t hurt that the two main male characters are super cute. Netflix really needs to make more original series, I really enjoyed House of Cards and am eagerly awaiting the next season. I’m also all caught up on Smash, thanks to my sister’s Hulu Plus account. Smash is so awesome and also sort of terrible and corny at the same time and I love it so much.

TIME TO WATCH MORE CUTE BOYS ON HEMLOCK GROVE.

CATS!

I am so gross and sweaty right now. I just put together a cat condo for my little furballs and it was really warm in the other room. Yes, that makes condo number three. Four if you count the mini one in my room, the one we refer to as the “bird bath” because my grandmother once asked why there was a bird bath in the family room, not realizing it was a cat condo. My cats are super spoiled. They actually don’t deserve any of the cool stuff they have because they are total assholes lately. All they do is chase each other around and hiss and growl. AND IT PISSES ME OFF. They have plenty of room (I live in a two story house), three food bowls, three water bowls, and five litter boxes, so I don’t know where all this territorial bullshit is coming from. What’s really weird is that sometimes they tolerate each other well, then an hour later they’re all hissy and growly.

Here is a picture of the condo:

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It is a million times nicer than the one I have in my room. I was having serious cat bully issues when I bought the second one so I bought it in sort of a panic, and I definitely should have spent more time shopping around. I opened the curtains a little so they can see outside when they sit on the top platform.

Also, I now have a subscription to Cat Fancy magazine. This paired with the fact that I occasionally wear cat earrings worries me sometimes. I REALLY AM THE CRAZIEST OF CAT LADIES.

You know what I love? The TV show Smash. It is so corny yet amazing at the same time.

For some reason I had convinced myself it was Sunday and that I had 20 minutes to go before Mad Men season 6 starts. I WAS WRONG AND NOW I AM SAD. I loves me some Mad Men.

I am sure I had more to say but I got distracted and forgot it all. OH WELL.

I have too many cats.

I have too many cats and they’re a bunch of little turds that have cost me over $500 in vet bills in the past few weeks. Plus I bought new litter boxes so that was another $35. I got the kind with a rim on the top because I’m hoping that it helps the litter box liners stay in place better. I’m a little sad the cashier didn’t ask how many cats I had because I would have said “just one but he poops a lot”. Things like that are hilarious to me. My sister said I should have said they were for me because the plumbing in my house was broken. And then there’s the $280 food bill because Petco had it on sale so I bought eight bags and had it shipped to my house because I love seeing what kinds of ridiculous things I can have shipped to my house for free. 120 pounds of cat food is probably the best.

First Maizie was peeing outside the litter box and my mom claims she saw her straining while she was peeing. I’m pretty sure my mom is full of crap and Maizie was just being a brat, because after a $120 vet bill (which would have been more if it wasn’t for the $40 credit my parents had on their account) later she’s fine. I was worried she had a UTI or a blockage in her bladder or something, but no, she was just being a butthead.

Then Five and Lexi got in a fight. Lexi has always been a bully but she’s never gotten in a claws out, growling, hissing fight before. She attacked Five and tore her nail pretty bad. She was bleeding all over and of course I was freaking out until I realized she just cracked her nail in two. So I just got back from taking her to the vet. They pulled the nail and bandaged it and now she’s walking around like she has a peg leg. I also took Five because he’s been more sneezy than usual, and also wheezing/coughing a bit. The vet thinks he has an upper respiratory infection and they both got antibiotics.

And I paid for Ginny Lou’s vet bill. She’s the cat I gave to my sister after Lexi was bullying her too much. She has an eye infection because apparently she has herpes? This is a thing cats get? I don’t know? I told my sister I would pay her vet bills since she was doing me a favour by taking her even though she already had two cats.

SO. JUST TAKE ALL MY MONEY, CUTE BEARDED VET THAT I SAW TODAY AND WOULD LIKE TO MARRY.

Here is a picture of my sad peg leg Lex:

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Not gonna lie, I laughed really hard at her when they brought her back in the exam room. I told her that was her punishment for being a bad girl. She started a fight and now she has to walk around looking like a dumbass and she kind of deserves it. Neither of them seem too traumatized by the vet visit because they both started eating right away as soon as they got upstairs. Fat cats.

Anyway, I have a new friend. His name is Will and we saw a basketball game together last night. My nemesis (apparently he’s my nemesis but I’m not his? Is that possible?) gave me tickets to see a UNLV basketball game and it was pretty fun. I admit that seeing games is much more fun now that I know how the game is played, thanks to The Smart Girl’s Guide to Sports which I will recommend to anyone who will listen. My favourite part of the game was when Will forgot Katin Reinhardt’s name and called him Kringle Vanderboot. Best. Name. Ever. I was thinking about it before I went to bed last night and I just laughed and laughed. I also may have gotten minor drunk before the game because it was happy hour and I never drink so my tolerance is very low. I like Will because he’s 1) very funny, 2) brings me cupcakes at work, and 3) isn’t judgemental when I eat ALL TEH THINGS. The last part will come in handy next week when we have plans to go downtown where there’s a cupcake bakery and I eat like a dozen cupcakes and there’s frosting in my hair and down my shirt.

OH! I was so distracted by the amount of money I’ve spent on the cats that I forgot the best part of the week: MY SISTER GOT MARRIED!

She eloped on Saturday! They came over for dinner the day after and told my parents. I knew already because I know everything. I may or may not have exploded at the table when my mom asked my dad if he was sad he didn’t get to walk my sister down the aisle. “HELLO?! I’M RIGHT HERE! IT’S NOT LIKE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE SHOT AT IT!” was my response. I mean, chances are I’m not going to get married (for many reasons, but mostly because I’m fat, crazy, and have too many cats. And also I’m not even sure I want to get married) but still, it’s not like it’s absolutely NOT going to. But whatever. WWHATEVER. Now I need to remember to call her husband my brother-in-law, which is a little weird to me still.

The amount of laundry piling up on my desk chair is starting to alarm me, so I’ll just stop right here and go put it away. Or lay on the bed in a pile of clean clothes for 20 minutes playing Candy Crush on my iPhone, THEN put it away. But whatever, same thing.

Sorry, Russia.

Remind me to check my website stats in a few days. I just banned Russia from accessing my website. For the last few months I’ve noticed half my hits (okay, who am I kidding, like 90% of my hits) come from Russia and the majority of those try to access my WordPress login, which is a big red flag. No one should be trying to access that but meeeee! Plus I’d like to see if anyone is legitimately reading this or linking me, because right now all I can see are links from Russian websites. And I’m sure that’s where 99% of the spam comments come from.

In other news, my boss wants to promote me. Most people would be super psyched but I’m pretty much just like :/ about it. It’s a dual rate position which means I’d be doing what I do now (and getting paid the same) but also filling in for the supervisors (and getting paid more) when they need a supervisor. I just don’t see the dual rate thing working out because everyone is going to know that I can do supervisor stuff and I feel like they’re going to expect me to do it even when I’m not getting paid as a supervisor. It’s just gonna be “hey Kristin, can you void this ticket for me? You’re right there and no one else is around” even though at that moment I probably wouldn’t be working in a supervisor capacity. I mean, not that voiding a ticket is a big deal, you just type your login and password in, but where will the line be drawn? My boss didn’t seem to offer any helpful advice which was a little frustrating to me. I think I’m going to take it assuming I pass the interview with the director of race and sports for the entire company, even though I’m not feeling 100% enthused about it (obvs). Everyone seems to think it could open more opportunities to me in the future which I guess is true.

I am going to go bake cupcakes and try not to eat half the container of frosting before they’re done.

Ooops.

Um… so my New Year’s resolutions were pretty much a fail. The only one that is even sort of still going was the last one regarding my frenemy. I get the impression he’s getting sort of fed up with work so fingers crossed he finds a new job so I don’t have to see him ever again.

…yes, I know that sounds terrible.

I got my humidifier the day after I ordered it (how awesome is Amazon?!) and I think it’s helping. I was actually feeling a little better the day after I ordered it, so I don’t know if it’s just me getting better or the humidifier. I may have turned it up a little too high yesterday because I woke up a few hours after falling asleep and my pillow was wet. Either way it’s nice to be feeling better.

Allergies suck.

MY ALLERGIES ARE KILLING ME. It started about two weeks ago when I thought I was getting a cold, but it didn’t get any worse like colds usually do. I figured it must be allergies and I’ve been taking medication ever since. My nose is a wee bit stuffy, but it’s mostly my throat that is driving me crazy. I wake up and it’s super dry and hurts, then stops hurting and gets super itchy. I am coughing (a really dry cough) all over the place and my voice is always hoarse now. The coughing is worse at night and I’m getting super annoyed by it so I ended up ordering a humidifier on Amazon last night. I’m hoping that some more moisture means less dry throat which might mean less itch and coughing.

I started doing my taxes a few weeks ago and finally got the last bit of information I needed yesterday. I was a little cranky because I owed $12 at first, then it went up to $27, but I guess I should have been a little more patient and waited to hit the error check button, because now I’m actually getting some money back. Turns out that investing in your 401k means you get a little bit of a refund! It’s not a whole lot of money but still better than owing.

I have to go back to the gynecologist tomorrow. I went a few weeks ago for my annual lady exam and now I have to go back for the results, which I don’t have a good feeling about. The nurse practitioner said she’d send a letter if the exam was normal, and she’d call if it wasn’t, and since I got a call yesterday to come in… yeah, you get the picture. Fingers crossed for me, okay?