I am full of rage.

You know what really makes me mad? People think that obsessive-compulsive disorder is merely the compulsion to have everything a certain way. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. The next time one of my co-workers giggles and goes “I am so OCD!” they are gonna get a punch in the mouth. This Reddit comment sums it up better than I ever could:

“No, having your highlighters in order of the color of the rainbow is not OCD. No making sure your tissue box facing is aligned with the corner of your desk is not OCD.

Flicking a light switch on and off for 20 minutes until it flicks off “correctly”, because you think if you don’t flick it off “correctly” your whole family will die and there’s nothing you can do to prevent yourself from giving in to these compulsions…

Yes, thats OCD.”

I’m taking an abnormal psychology class and this week’s chapter is on personality disorders. We have to post weekly on a discussion board and this week’s question was “When might a personality disorder be an advantage to a person or vocation?” I wrote about how people with narcissistic personality disorder tend to be in leadership and management positions, and I backed that up with a link to an article about an actual study done on this. My classmates? “Well, people with OCD like to be really organized so they would make good accountants! Or cleaners!”

Oh. MY. GOD. Seriously. I want to throw myself on the floor in a fit of despair. I want to throw an epic hissy fit. One of them was even like “I have OCD tendencies (which I diagnosed myself!) because I like to make lists!”

KILL ME. RIGHT. NOW.

On the bright side, I feel really good about myself because their dumb, vague, WRONG comments make me feel super smart.

SIGH.

In other news, two of my co-workers called in sick last night so I worked a 12 hour shift. That is not a fun thing to do. I work 10 hours normally and when it gets to be around hour 7 I’m like “THREE MORE HOURS STILL? REALLY?!” so you can imagine how tacking on another 2 hours made me feel. Oh well. I do enjoy getting the overtime on my paycheck because that means more money, which means more vintage jewelry from eBay! Gosh. I am just so cool.

Did I ever mention I collect vintage books? I just really like old stuff, I don’t know what that is all about. Anyway, my oldest book WAS 1900, but then I found a book at some random thrift store the other day. Now my oldest book is from 1890! How cool is that? It’s a Lutheran hymnal and it’s all in German. It’s in terrible shape (binding is falling apart and it has a burn mark on it) but I was excited to beat my oldest book record for a mere $2. My vintage book collection has also expanded way too much so I’ve had to change my standards from “ANY OLD BOOK!” to “interesting old books.” Like, I got a weird old book titled “The Schooling of the Western Horse.” That’s pretty interesting and odd. My man friend found me a vintage veterinary book at Savers last time we went so of course I had to get that one. I really need to organize my bookshelves. And get rid of some and donate them to the bookshelf at work to make up for all the Phillipa Gregory paperbacks I snag from there.

I REALLY need to do some Christmas shopping. My sister is easy to shop for because I know what she likes, but my mom and dad… bleh. My mom wants some clothes from Woman Within, so I’ll do that, but my dad? I DO NOT KNOW.

You know what I love? Candles from Bath and Body Works. They smell stronger and better than any other candle in the WORLD. IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

Before I go, check out my adorable little Lexi curled up in my arms.
IMG_6883

SO CUTE I CAN’T EVEN

FOREVER.

It has been FOREVER. I’ve been a busy little bee! Jk, I do nothing all day. Okay, that’s sort of a lie. I’ve been doing homework (had an 8 page literature review due last week for my Psych 201 class) and hanging out with my man friend. I refer to him as my man friend because I am hesitant to use the word boyfriend and he’s more than a friend, so… it’s either that or the old-fashioned gentleman caller. I’m like 100 years old so I should just give in and say gentleman caller. Did I ever mention I started collecting vintage brooches? Just to cement how old I am. Vintage brooches and cat statues… and the vintage brooches have given way to vintage jewelry of any kind. Necklaces, bracelets, cocktail rings… throw in the occasional super tacky knockoff Betsey Johnson charm bracelet from eBay… I’m basically the coolest. What can I say? I’ve been inspired by Mad Man. I rewatched the entire series (well, up until whatever season is currently on TV) last month. Now I’m trying to catch up on New Girl (Winston and the cat, OH LAWD, SO FUNNY) and How I Met Your Mother. Also trying to keep up with Sons of Anarchy and American Horror Story. Isn’t Dandy the scariest character on AHS? Even scarier than the clown!

I currently hate my job and am willing to take a pay cut to leave that hellhole. Sadly I’ve interviewed for 3 jobs (one was for HR and I realllllly wanted that one) and gotten none of them so I am feeling really discouraged. It’s not like I’m applying for jobs that are beyond my skills. The HR job was basically filing/answering questions at the front desk and I didn’t even get that. Feeling like I’m going to be stuck at my current shithole job is really depressing me. That and the fact that I’m 99.9% sure I have borderline personality disorder… ugh. JUST KILL ME. This is a good description of BPD if you’re interested in what it’s like to be in my head 24/7. Hint: IT IS GENERALLY TERRIBLE. I know I should see a doctor (my bestie is encouraging me to see his doctor because he thinks she will be more helpful than the ones I’ve seen already) but then I’ll just cry in front of the doctor and if there’s one thing I really hate it’s crying in front of other people… I mean, I hate a lot of things but I REALLY hate crying in front of people. If I ever cry in front of you it’s because I feel super comfortable with you and you should feel really proud.

So… that’s my life. I’m only taking two classes next semester even though I told myself I would take 3 each semester so I can graduate in a reasonable amount of time. It still is 7 credits of classes, which is half time, and I want to take an Excel class next semester and have work pay for it. I’ve been putting off doing my tuition reimbursement paperwork because me taking an Excel class is sort of… well, let’s just say even though I use Excel every day at work, it’s not like I do much more than inputting numbers in like, 5 spots. I really want to take it, though… one of the interviews had me do an Excel test and I didn’t do that great. Of course, I could have done worse, but taking an Excel class (a free one!) can only help me.

My bestie got me the Sims 4 for my birthday, so I’m going to go play that. Oh! Yes, it was my birthday. I am 30 now. SO. OLD. And I basically am terrible at life, I feel like I should have figured everything out by now. Or at least be on the right track instead of being at a shitty job I hate where I have to deal with the stupidest people I’ve ever met in my life (coworkers AND guests). Ugh, don’t let me get started. Anyway, I had a nice birthday. My sister made me a really cute wallet out of Star Wars fabric. She also got me the cutest hardcover copy of Little Women which is one of my favourite books. Apparently Puffin redid some of the covers of classic books (Little Women, Heidi, etc) and they are ADORABLE. My man friend got me everything I love (which means he does listen to me even if I think he doesn’t), which included a pumpkin candle, a little plush Grumpycat, a Grumpycat cup for work, and. birthday cake lipgloss.

OKAY OKAY TIME FOR SIMS 4 INSTEAD OF DOING SCHOOLWORK BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I ROLL.