Making decisions makes me feel like this: >:O

Remember when I said there was no way I was going to apply for the job and fuck everything rage punch kick die blargh? Okay, maybe it wasn’t that extreme, but that’s sort of how it seemed in my head. My boss (my new boss, who is actually my old boss. Yeah, that’s what it’s like working for this particular company, it’s basically just a revolving door of managers) sat me down and talked to me about it and convinced me to apply for it by promising me I could have the days off that I wanted (Wednesdays because those are my Broadway show days, and Broadway shows > my job). I’ve pretty much talked myself into doing it because despite how the pay is so not worth it, I think it will be worth it to have that little boost on my resume. Plus I can wear my own clothes. GOODBYE UGLY POLO SHIRTS! I just tell myself that I don’t have to do this forever.

I think you should all stop what you’re doing and say thank you to the deity of your choice that you are not me. I was actually doing okay for the last few months, I wasn’t feeling all crazy like I usually do. I know that applying for a promotion is not a huge deal and most people would easily make the decision to do it or not, but it’s different for me. I go over the different decisions in my head a million times, dwell on each one for ages, and then freak out because I’m afraid no matter which decision I make, it will be the wrong one. Same with the condo thing. Now I’m doing the same thing trying to decide whether or not I should go back to school. I mean, I think I should, I know I should, but trying to pick a major? Forget it. DECISION MAKING PROCESS SHUTS DOWN COMPLETELY. I keep waiting for some kind of sign that will magically tell me what I should do, but of course that doesn’t happen.


Anyway, let’s change the subject. I am really into headbands lately. My hair is super long, like past my bra strap long, and it’s pretty and soft but it’s getting hot here in Vegas and it is slowly driving me crazy. It gets really hot at work sometimes and my hair seems like it’s everywhere and my neck is hot and it’s in my face and I just want to chop it off. Headbands help to keep it off my face, and they have the added bonus of making me look 11 years old. I’m not sure how that is a bonus, but I’m sure it is to some pervert in the sports book. I already look pretty young, thanks to years of not going in the sun (no wrinkles yet, yay!) and my extreme fatness, but the headband just adds that touch that screams “I AM A YOUNG AND INNOCENT SCHOOLGIRL”.

My nemesis brought me saltwater taffy all the way from New Jersey. I get my own box because 1) I am super fat and he knows it, and 2) he loves me even if he won’t admit it. Yes, our relationship is strange, I know. I’ve given up trying to understand it. I should just accept that we are going to drive each other nuts.



Guess who has season tickets for next season’s Broadway Series at the Smith Center? ME ME ME ME ME. I told my sister not to get them because I was hoping to get a promotion and if I did my schedule would change, but she got them anyway. And then I realized that I didn’t want the promotion so everything sort of worked out.

You’re probably like “WHO WOULDN’T TAKE A PROMOTION, ARE YOU CRAZY?!” but I made a list of pros and cons and there was only one pro. Yeah. The one pro was “could open up other opportunities in the future” and I really considered applying for it just for that but then remembered that I don’t want to work in a sports book for the rest of my life. I mean, I could apply for it and just do it in the meantime until I figure out what the hell I’m doing, but it’s just so not worth it. There would be a raise, of course, but the amount of money compared to the amount of work/stress was just not worth it in the end. I really want to be making more money and I will never make the amount of money I want working in a sports book. Not that I’m looking to make a fortune, just enough to move out, buy a car, and have enough leftover that I don’t have to be stressed about money every month. It’s just me and the cats and I don’t have any crazy habits that cost me a ton of money so I think I would be okay. Keep your fingers crossed for me, okay?

New job means no more condo! Prices have gone up and I could barely afford one to begin with. I am little sad about it but it’s my own fault, pretty much. I let my anxiety get the best of me. NOTHING NEW THERE.

I started watching Hemlock Grove on Netflix last night. It is totally bizarre but I like it so far. It doesn’t hurt that the two main male characters are super cute. Netflix really needs to make more original series, I really enjoyed House of Cards and am eagerly awaiting the next season. I’m also all caught up on Smash, thanks to my sister’s Hulu Plus account. Smash is so awesome and also sort of terrible and corny at the same time and I love it so much.



I am so gross and sweaty right now. I just put together a cat condo for my little furballs and it was really warm in the other room. Yes, that makes condo number three. Four if you count the mini one in my room, the one we refer to as the “bird bath” because my grandmother once asked why there was a bird bath in the family room, not realizing it was a cat condo. My cats are super spoiled. They actually don’t deserve any of the cool stuff they have because they are total assholes lately. All they do is chase each other around and hiss and growl. AND IT PISSES ME OFF. They have plenty of room (I live in a two story house), three food bowls, three water bowls, and five litter boxes, so I don’t know where all this territorial bullshit is coming from. What’s really weird is that sometimes they tolerate each other well, then an hour later they’re all hissy and growly.

Here is a picture of the condo:


It is a million times nicer than the one I have in my room. I was having serious cat bully issues when I bought the second one so I bought it in sort of a panic, and I definitely should have spent more time shopping around. I opened the curtains a little so they can see outside when they sit on the top platform.

Also, I now have a subscription to Cat Fancy magazine. This paired with the fact that I occasionally wear cat earrings worries me sometimes. I REALLY AM THE CRAZIEST OF CAT LADIES.

You know what I love? The TV show Smash. It is so corny yet amazing at the same time.

For some reason I had convinced myself it was Sunday and that I had 20 minutes to go before Mad Men season 6 starts. I WAS WRONG AND NOW I AM SAD. I loves me some Mad Men.

I am sure I had more to say but I got distracted and forgot it all. OH WELL.